4-29-19

i actually thought about not logging for Monday, as i knew i was out of whack, but that's not how it's done, is it?  nothing hidden changes.  so, breakfast was 2 sausage and cheese on english muffin sandwiches and a strawberry milk. lunch was the pasta my friend made for my parents on Saturday.  dinner was 2 slices of leftover pizza and leftover salad.  my carb intake is ridiculous.  i am in the process, once again, of eating myself to death.  i keep wanting to say 'i don't know what the problem is', but bullshitting myself won't change things either.  the problem is depression, lack of self-motivation, self-pity and fear over a dwindling light called 'a future'.  and the last is the one that holds the sharpest knife right now.  just a little insight.  shit's got to change...

4-28-19

not the healthiest day, but far from the worst. 
didn't have breakfast yesterday; ate a leftover turkey sausage. 
lunch was a fish sandwich, salad and fries.
dinner was pizza (3 slices) and salad
had a piece of foccacia bread before bed. 
i have not forgotten this page, and will not forget it.  but i am trying to get back into a rhythm.  bear with me, whoever runs into this. 

4-24-19

missed yesterday, sorry.  i think i had a bad eating day, a huge fucking BK breakfast burrito for breakfast, some kind of toasted sub from Pizza Joe's and fettuccine and red sauce with hot turkey italian sausage for dinner.  just way too much food. 

today was better, had sausage and cheese breakfast sandwiches on english muffins and milk for breakfast, had one piece of fish and two wings for early supper.  just had cake, which is it for my eating today. 

4-22-19

no breakfast.  brunch-ish was a four pack of peanut butter crackers and a banana.  lunch proper was two slices of pizza.  dinner was 8 wing dings, a cup of mashed potatoes and a cup of lima beans.  piece of cake for dessert.  getting better, i suppose. 

4-21-19

today i had 2 cheeseburgers, a sausage, sautee'd zucchini and mashed potatoes.  dinner.  that's it.  no breakfast, no lunch.  a cupcake at the meeting, a swiss roll for dessert.  feeling okay. 

4-20-19

yesterday, Saturday, was an indulgent mess.  i had a fish sandwich and a chicken sandwich from BK.  at most i could have eaten one, but i ate them both and had cheesy bacon tots with them.  breakfast was the last of the meat loaf, eggs and grits.  snack shit as well.  popcorn was the healthiest thing i ate yesterday, to be honest.  trying to do better for sunday. 

4-19-19

breakfast on Friday was had with my parents, scrambled eggs w cheese, sausage, homefries and biscuits.  no lunch.  dinner was catfish, wings, greens and fries.  had some kit kat like things, some sugar free ice cream.  that was that.

4-18-19

breakfast today was 2 eggs, a piece of toast with some orange marmalade on it and meat loaf.  lunch was a fish sandwich, far too overloaded with stuff, and some onion rings.  i had 2 small pieces of snack cake and some popcorn also.  that's it for today. 

sigh...

again...i'm sorry.  it's been a lot going on, and i've not been attentive to this blog as i should be.  i'll return soon to get back to accountability.  my word on that. 

April and Such

i'm not sure the last time i entered here. i am trying to stay consistent, but most days are kind of a blur lately.  i can say today breakfast was eggs and rice and a pork chop and a leftover biscuit, and that lunch was a sloppy joe and mac n cheese.  i can say i had a donut and some chips along the way.  i don't know if i'm even eating dinner tonight, i'm not hungry but i should put something in my face.  but i didn't do bad yesterday, eating out with friends twice on Saturday and trying to be more responsive, only doing breakfast and dinner.  sugar's been okay, but it needs to come down some still.  and i got to get back to working on this weight.  so, that's where i am currently.  anything i eat tonight will be by way of meat and veggies.  good night to you.

better plateau (i'm hoping...)

 so, i can't say what got me off my writing lately, as i was sharing the good and the bad.  a lot of grief, a lot of changes in my family dynamic.  regardless, here we are and here i am, and let's get back to this now, shall we?

for breakfast i had a boiled egg and some italian turkey sausage.  for lunch, i had a giant eagle salad, some meat loaf and a piece of fish.  for dinner i had breaded pork chop, spicy red cabbage and some seasoned jasmine rice.  i also had a slice of cake and some ice cream for dessert.  had a piece of cake and some ice cream as well.  did exercise this morning also.  now i'm going to crash out and if i wake up in the morning, i'll resume the Journey forthwith.