Push against the Push

so, it's Thursday evening.  the shut down is coming soon.  so i want to get these thoughts out before i close the store, so to speak. 

today was a bit rough. i got some kind of respiratory thing going on, got to do with the changing of the weather, cold to hot, having a window open at night and waking freezing.  short sleep don't help much either.  so i got through the day but it was a struggle.  i did my thing this morning, as previously reported.  i got my runs done, and that was cool.  i have things to get done tomorrow, to tend to some people who have either celebrated birthdays or will be, including one client from my bus. 

what did i do today?  well, i talked to my mother, who was distressed because something in the medicine they prescribed for her at the urgent care had a bad effect on her.  she went to her doctor right away, and that's good.  but i can tell things are starting to wear on her more heavily.  i spent time with Syd and the grandson, and we had brunch and he was his usual self, which is cool.  he likes scrambled eggs, and he likes to drink water from a water glass.  he's a lot like his mother was at her age.  to remember such things is a joy and a sadness at the same time. 

i later took Syd to WalMart for some things, and i had her buy me some things that i needed.  not that i didn't have the money; just as a way to have something to say thank you to her for.  and then i came home./  massive debate on grabbing some bullshit for my dinner, but instead i came home. cleaned the stuff out of my care that i'd had in my mom's car.  brought everything in the house.  got clothes into the dryer, washed my winter light coat and my vest and my Kangol, continued to monitor the movement of the fucking mice (use your own imagination) and i got my dinner done.  i've spoken to De'ja. i have coffee ready to brew, both here and at work.  and i am about to take some meds to try to get my ass back to functional tomorrow. 

i have written some tonight, and my dishes are washed.  i'm thankful and expressing that thanks to Jehovah, as i prayed for strength to do more than just eat and sleep, and i received that blessing.  i'm going to go now, and i have counseling tomorrow and a birthday for R.M. on my bus, who remains nameless and loved by his family and me.  Out.