How Do I Feel?

it's hard to get a picture of fog on a highway in a moving vehicle, but that's the picture.  and that's how i feel right now.  i feel as if i'm driving into a familiar place where everything is obscured due to the cloud that's come down, or up as the case may be.  and while i'm relatively sure i'll get where i'm trying to go, i'm not as certain that the road exists past the edge of how far i can see into the cloud.  does that make sense?  i don't care, it's accurate at the moment.

today was not terrible.  prayer and meditation, breakfast and insulin and pills, and rolled out to work.  easy morning, not a bad afternoon either, just one missed turn on the return from something i hadn't yet done as the driver on this particular route.

the office was the usual mess, with misinformation, missed communication opportunities and the grumbling and backbiting doing their usual termite routine on whatever foundation might be constructing itself.  does that mean i'm feeling like a part of things there these days?  sad to say, but maybe so.

i didn't go to my parent's house today, i went to the store, got some needed things and came home.  went to lunch with Lonnie.  told him about the diagnosis.  talked for a bit before i went back to work.  i'm still worried.  but i'm not afraid.  that's a good distinction to be able to make. 

to my knowledge, i've never been in an absolute fog.  like above, i can usually see the lines on the road, the tail lights ahead of me, indicating someone has been where i'm going, so it's possible to transverse this phenomenon.  and, there is always the sure knowledge, at least in these environs, that the sun will dissipate the obscurity soon enough.  i am grateful for a full day, and i will do my best should tomorrow come.  thank you, Father.