gluttony vs love

what do you do?
when you feel the world is getting too big for you, what do you do?  what do YOU do?
i've been in a funk of the totally non-funky kind for months now.  slowly gaining what i had worked to get rid of.  so easy to get back on the wrong track, back into the wrong habits.  so hard to get back to the right path.
but see, i got to do it.
i eat because i am not loving myself the way i should.  i also eat because i'm loving myself the way i should.  it's the rough part about having a compulsive/obsessive eating disorder.  you eat, either way.
the thing is, discipline.  can you put the three meals in, in the way you're supposed to, and not give in to the desire to anesthetize?
i have done it before.  i CAN do it.
the trick, of course, is to do it for a day.
And BE ACCOUNTABLE.
without accountability, it won't last.
today, i had no real breakfast.  an inch square of lasagna as i put the rest in the freezer and cut a piece for Da Boss to take to her at work tomorrow.
before the meeting, i ate a piece of whole wheat bread with peanut butter on it.  i'm generous with peanut butter.  i had about a half cup of corn chips also.
i had dinner, which was a burger on whole wheat, with tomatoes, spinach, onions, cheddar, bacon and mayo.  i had salad and green beans with it.
dessert was a slice of someone's anniversary cake, and the last of my dulce de leche ice cream.  all gone, bye-bye.
no more ice cream purchases.  no more desserts, sugar-free or otherwise.
not for the next 2 months, anyway.
going to start learning how to do whole grain stuff for real, legumes and roots and shit.  going to start working on me, working on the last part of my life being significantly different than the first.  it can be done.
it will be done.
if i love myself.
i need to be accountable.  i need to be held accountable.
and i need to thank my God for bringing me back to this point.