Exercise, and Exercise Caution

i have to say, for me as a food addict, the most dangerous thing is unobserved emotions.  i eat because i feel certain ways, and i try not to pay attention to those ways because then i'll make myself more of whatever it is i'm feeling than i already am.  this is the truth. 
yesterday i wanted some company.  i had asked my brother by the day before, but that didn't happen, and i asked Lonnie by yesterday and that didn't happen.  i didn't think for certain either would, but i've been feeling this winter, this dark, this loneliness, this isolation.  i have been more tolerant of people who show little character because, in the void, they are at least people, but they are only around for a brief span as well.  so, making a pot of white chili, some honey-jalapeno cornbread, having some conversation, that would have been a salve.  but it wasn't to be. 

so i didn't go hog wild.  no off-the-chain orgy of pizza and potato chips.  but i was out of sync emotionally, and my intake was off because of it.  and if i don't write that down and acknowledge that truth, i remain susceptible in the dark. 

breakfast yesterday was a frittata and multigrain toast.  the frittata consisted of eggs, sausage, onion, peppers, potato and jalapeno pepper.

lunch was white chili, remastered, and the cornbread

dinner was the other half of the pictured frittata.

i had 3/4 of an apple for a snack, and i had some peanut butter crackers also

i also had two teaspoons of a hot chocolate mix in my noon cup of coffee. 

those were my indulgences.  but they were there, and they were anesthetic, to take the edge off the aloneness for a brief period. 

that is my admission and confession.  it ain't an evil brownie, but it is a compromised emotional state.  and i thank Jehovah for the truth.