so, at work today, a woman brought in a tray of brownies. specifically, peanut butter swirled brownies with chocolate chips. it may as well have been a bag of vagina flavored crack. i left immediately, as they came in on the early run and i was able to just go to my bus. i figured they'd be gone by the time we finished, but nooooo...there they were, half a tray. and i did not resist any further.
now, mind you, i had one, and i took it with me, and i went to my parents and i chilled and talked to my parents and checked on them. i went to TB and had a cheap lunch, and as i sat in my car, looking at this napkin swaddled brownie, i decided fuck it, and i ate it. and it was Goooooood. can't lie. but the guilties are upon me, no shit.
i've been making discernible progress. i don't want to self-sabotage. i want to get healthy, get my life on track, live what's left on better terms than what i've lived up til now. so i need prayers and i need some straight forward help. i'm asking, because it's the only way i know if any real help will be available to me.
anyway, that's where i'm at.
Breakfast was a bowl of oatmeal, good start.
Lunch was a shredded chicken burrito and a spicy tostada, which i love the latter though it's vegetarian.
Dinner was a spinach salad, with onion, peppers, dried cherries and cranberries and blueberries, with feta and apple slices and four quarters of a sliced boiled egg and caeser's salad dressing.
and, of course, the Brownie.
i will do better tomorrow.
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