getting it out of my system...

today i had sausage, eggs and toast for breakfast, i had fish, soup, broccoli spears and fries (a few) for lunch and tortilla shell pizza and soup for dinner.  i had some chocolate and a brownie as well.  i know i'm struggling with rigidity right now, i want to walk a much finer line than this.  i'm going to, starting out the week.  implementing change, but i have to be honest with myself about it too.  more later.

six up...

i don't know...likely it's the slipping from the strict discipline, could have something to do with the lack of BP meds though, but i'm up 6 pounds from my last doctor visit.  so, back to the regimen tomorrow.  still don't have my meds though, so i have to be cautious until i'm back on and acclimated as far as physical activity goes.

breakfast today, one breakfast burrito, McD's. 
lunch: fish sandwich, salad, small chili, fruit for dessert
dinner: chicken sandwich and soup.
no dessert

updating

got a thing for meat loaf, i guess.

on sunday i went to breakfast with my son.  i had country fried steak, eggs and home fries and a piece of toast.  for lunch i had nothing, as breakfast was so late in the morning, and for dinner, i had meat loaf, mashed potatoes, cabbage and some of my Nexus soup for an appetizer. 

today i had no breakfast (see the Journey) i had a dozen garlic wingdings for lunch, and i had meat loaf, mashed potatoes and broccoli for dinner.  had a muffin for dessert. 

Friday, Saturday, what i can remember Anyway...

i think the days have gotten away from me a bit, but i have to face why, i have to get honest and i have to do something about it.  i've been eating worse, not horribly, but worse leads to worst and that leads back to the place i'm trying to move away from.  no point living in denial about that fact.  i have to get back to the original Dining Room, logging entire facts about my meals and being responsible enough to enjoy what i'm looking at. 

for instance, Friday i can't even remember breakfast, really.  i'm sure i ate, but i can't remember what.  makes logging it impossible, right?  so not writing shit down the day of makes the excusing my bullshit much easier.  for lunch, i had a gyro and wings and onion rings, like i don't have an eating disorder.  how do i justify that?  by saying 'oh, i didn't have fries though'?  i had beer batter fried fish and cabbage for dinner on friday, again, fried this, fried that.  it starts with a touch of neglect and it ends with the same nonsense as before.

yesterday i had eggs, scrambled with cheese, and home fries for breakfast.  for lunch i had a chicken quesidilla and a cranberry/orange muffin.  for dinner, half a chicken sandwich and soup.  much better than the day before.  eating in that fashion is more responsible and much safer, but i won't maintain that without a conscious effort.  so the time for bullshit is past; it's time to take it to the next phase baby.  i'm done. 

3/22/2018

breakfast today, strange but on point:  two egg, sausage and cheese breakfast toronado thingees from a gas station and a banana.  lunch was a beef and cheese pastallilo and six garlic parm wings.  dinner was chili and crackers.  dessert shall be butterscotch pudding, sugar free of course.  i had a nutty bar and two pecan sandies at my parent's house as well, and a pack of jalapeno cheddar crackers.  that is my eating day.  gym tomorrow before counseling. 

chilling and still in...

i had scrambled eggs with cheese and water for breakfast today.  for lunch i had a patty melt and soup from the DeYor, and for dinner i'm going to have a tortilla pizza and soup.  it was a frightful day, but we've gotten through it, by God's grace, and we're almost ready for Thursday.  it's a good enough day, and i'm glad it's almost over. 

whoops!

oh yeah, i forgot yesterday.  i had time too, and i just ended up crashing and forgot to log my food intake.  got to do it earlier in the day, i imagine.  anyway, breakfast Monday was oatmeal and a piece of peanut butter toast.  lunch was a salad from the Eagle, 5 hot wings and an apple.  dinner was chicken marinara on the stove top with pasta and broccoli, no cheese.  had two brownie bits and a pack of peanut butter crackers as well.  that's about the size of that. 

Sunday wind-down

 well, this has been a day.  i'm glad it's almost over. i guess you know life is changing when you need the weekend to end to get back to the order of your life.  but, oh well.

breakfast today was the other half of yesterday's frittata.  lunch and dinner were cabbage rolls and broccoli and cheese.  had one tiny round brownie for dessert.  that's the extent of that.  oh, half an apple with my breakfast.  

The Journey

Saturday Repast

the day went well enough, aside from the savaging of the sugar-free cookies.  i had a frittata for breakfast, using some of the rutabaga i had left from the soup in place of potato, and a piece of toast.  for lunch, i had the meatball medley soup with a burger quesidilla from the food cart down the street.  dinner was just sweet potato soup, now named Autumn Serenade, with crackers.  i am full and sleepy, so i'm going to try to log at the Journey before i go under. 

fish bingeing

aye, it's that season.  and as i've not gotten a great amount of fish in, that intake previously having much to do with the consumption of fast food fish sandwiches,  did get gluttonous today, to which i must atone in the weekend hours. 

breakfast today was sausage links, eggs and grits.  simple.
lunch was potato leek soup, fish, a tree of broccoli and about 12 french fries
dinner was fish, pierogis and coleslaw. 

had a pack of jalapeno-cheddar crackers, some sugar free fudge wafers (4) and some of my new soup, which i believe is called 'Autumn Serenade'.  getting better.  good bye.

holding pattern

i've been more mindful lately, but i still got to tighten up more. 

today i had a great breakfast, oatmeal and half an apple.  by lunch, i was moving toward want, so i had the world's smallest gyro (yee-row) and some mozzarella sticks, as well as soup.  dinner was good, baked chicken wings, broccoli and the last of my dirty rice.  sugar free pudding for dessert.  nothing to dance and sing about, but nothing to hang my head in shame either.  that's it for now.

Small and Filling

Today I ate rather sparingly through the day, with the exception of breakfast. 

breakfast, as it were, was eggs, sausage links, grits and a piece of toast.  lunch was varied, but mostly half a burger, soup, two pieces of pressure cooker chicken legs.  dinner was chicken tenders and spanakopita, or spinach pie, that my friend made.  i am happy with what i ate, as well as the 3 peanut butter Girl Scout cookies i allowed myself.  it's time to shut it down, almost, and i feel blessed in the process.

Burger Meister

couple days, i know.  just had to get a pain taken care of, and some order restoration in place. 

yesterday i didn't have breakfast.  i had a gluten free pecan sandie, a girl scout cookie, and some Bellvita orange cranberry cookies.  i had a pastellilo and six garlic parm wings for lunch.  i had chicken, fish and mashed potatoes for dinner.  i was so out of sorts with gout, i hate when i'm trying to just 'manage' my movements, because something always ends up out of wack.

today, breakfast was grits, eggs, the last salisbury steak and a biscuit.  lunch was a fish taco.  a bit later i had the last garlic cheddar biscuit from last weekened.  dinner was a burger, sweet potato casserole and broccoli.  sugar free cherry pie with sugar free vanilla ice cream for dessert. 

good enough. 

Thursday, March 8, 2018

no breakfast, trying to work out the 'bathroom issue' in my morning runs.

lunch - fast food, sorry to say.  burger and chicken nuggets from Wendy's

dinner - fish and sweet potatoes

moving along

today i tried not having breakfast in the morning, as i have noticed that when i eat i tend to use the bathroom more while we're en route.  it's purely hypothetical at the moment but we'll see what the results are soon enough. 

so, breakfast today:  a nutty bar found in my meeting bag while i was getting gas (thank you, Father)

lunch:  a gyro from Ghossain's.

dinner:  fish (cat on the right, cod on the left), sweet potato mashed and zucchini.  good eats. 

Breaking B(re)ad

i thought i'd taken a picture of today's meal, but i guess i didn't.  i wanted to, as i had my brother Jerome over for dinner and the company was nice, the weight of another person's physicality in this space.  but it was cool nonetheless, and i'm just going to log and start shutting it down.

3/4/18

breakfast: one hamburger patty, one egg, one piece of toast with sugar-free jam

lunch: sausage, scrambled eggs, one piece rye toast

dinner: BBQ chicken, dirty rice, green beans, one cheddar garlic biscuit

a sliver (literally) of 7up cake at the meeting.

grateful for the meal and the company.  that is all today. 

The Journey

Hiding Places

when i'm honest, admitting that i'm off-center is not only easier, it is essential.  you cannot operate in perfection when you're not perfect.  but you can operate in honesty and leave yourself ample room for improvement in your actions.  to that extent, i've not been eating completely correct, but i'm striving to get back to where i need to be. 

on Friday, my breakfast was yogurt and a banana, my lunch was fish, asparagus, some fries and chili, and my dinner was a taco salad. 

yesterday -
breakfast: 1 italian hot sausage, 3 meatballs, 1 yogurt (leftovers)
lunch: bowl of soup and 2 garlic cheddar biscuits
dinner: salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and broccoli-cauliflower with cheddar

i'm about to get up and make coffee and have breakfast, haven't decided what yet, but i will log it when the day is done. 

Better Day

Breakfast: yogurt and a banana

Lunch: Spicy beef & garlic, hot & sour soup, 2 eggs rolls

Dinner: sausage, meatballs & salad

Wednesday, Feb. 28, 2018

Breakfast: peanut butter toast and a banana

snack: 2 meatballs in red sauce

Lunch: 2 burritos from the Bell

Dinner: one hot Italian sausage, 6 hot wings, salad

4 soft bake cookies for dessert (mistake)