i think the days have gotten away from me a bit, but i have to face why, i have to get honest and i have to do something about it. i've been eating worse, not horribly, but worse leads to worst and that leads back to the place i'm trying to move away from. no point living in denial about that fact. i have to get back to the original Dining Room, logging entire facts about my meals and being responsible enough to enjoy what i'm looking at.
for instance, Friday i can't even remember breakfast, really. i'm sure i ate, but i can't remember what. makes logging it impossible, right? so not writing shit down the day of makes the excusing my bullshit much easier. for lunch, i had a gyro and wings and onion rings, like i don't have an eating disorder. how do i justify that? by saying 'oh, i didn't have fries though'? i had beer batter fried fish and cabbage for dinner on friday, again, fried this, fried that. it starts with a touch of neglect and it ends with the same nonsense as before.
yesterday i had eggs, scrambled with cheese, and home fries for breakfast. for lunch i had a chicken quesidilla and a cranberry/orange muffin. for dinner, half a chicken sandwich and soup. much better than the day before. eating in that fashion is more responsible and much safer, but i won't maintain that without a conscious effort. so the time for bullshit is past; it's time to take it to the next phase baby. i'm done.
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