a Beginning

this is where we're going to improve the process of self-discipline.  actually, the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous tells me, "...we alcoholics are undisciplined, so we let God discipline us in the manner outlined."  you'd have to find a big book and find that entry to know the context, but it's useful here.

this is parallel to The Journey.  where i'm going now, i have to work on the physical as well as the mental and emotional.  i want to be a new Timothy this day, and i have to put some serious work into it for that to happen.  and disclosure in an honest fashion is a big part of that.

SO.  let's stop marinating and masturbating this shit.

Breakfast today:  An Intricate Mess and a piece of 12 grain toast with sugar-free strawberry jam.
total calories, 832. total carbs, 28.

eventually my goal is going to be met, which is 2000 calories a day, with an allotment of 75 carbs.  I don't know if i'm going to hit it today, but i bet my ass i'm going to get closer than a trip to Burger King and having cake and ice cream for dessert would get me.  but one day at a time.  i'll update again after dinner so by the end of the day, there will be an entire picture of my eating today.

i'm not counting coffee in this.  coffee has no calories or carbs, is a free food, i drink it with artificial sweetener.  there are likely carbs in the powdered creamer i use, but i ain't giving it up.

for lunch, because after an early breakfast i did get hungry, i had my last 2 pieces of baked chicken from yesterday and a half an apple.  195 calories for the chicken (drum and wing), 48 calories for the apple, with 12 carbs.

for dinner, i had pinto beans, collard greens and corn bread.  170 calories for the beans, with 32 carbs.  56 calories in the greens, with 6.4 carbs, and the killer, if i were obsessing, would be the Jiffy cornbread, 170 calories, 27 carbs. 

but here's what's kind of groovy...total caloric intake for the day...roughly 1471, below the 2000 i had set for myself.  carbs, though...106 for the day, so far.  above the 75 i had set for myself.  but i'm not bummed.  as i said earlier, i'm not going to be anal about this.  i have goals, goals take work.  i'm thinking about it like this:  a Whopper has 630 calories without cheese, and 57 carbs.  that's ONE SANDWICH.  that approaches half of my intake for the entire day of three meals.  so, is it a good start?  it's better than a bag with 2 Whoppers, a fry and a drink (diet, of course...)  thank you, Father, for feeding me today.